What does it take to stop being indecisive?
Welcome back to our 5th edition of Call to Action! This week we shall dive straight into today’s topic - indecision. Indecision is where we find it difficult to make decision for ourselves, for a number of reasons. We hesitate. Or avoid altogether.
Look at this casual conversation below:
Friend 1: Where shall we hang out for lunch today?
Friend 2: (*Thinks of a choice but says*) Wherever you like.
Or this.
Friend 1: What food shall we order tonight?
Friend 2: I am okay with anything, really. What do you prefer?
These are largely unharmful day to day conversations we have with family and friends. But there are other conversations that actually matter. Of career. Of finance. Of relationships. Or of any thing that may seem small to others but matter the most to you. Can you think of any such trouble? Think of those painful processes screaming at you with choices. Yet, here we are, hoping they would go away.
We remain indecisive for long enough for a number of reasons:
We are worried about making someone upset with our decision
We do not want to bear any unforeseen consequences that our decision might bring
We want to give space for some democracy (Actually, isn’t that a good thing? But in that case, you may want to express your thought and invite others to do so)
We have a problem with our confidence - that we somehow end up making bad choices
In fact, all of the above reasons are interconnected. I have been guilty of all of the above - like a turtle that hides under its shell until its predators give up and move away. Unfortunately, the problems don’t, ever.
What really happens if the problem awaiting our decision do not just vanish? Well, we eventually allow someone else to make the decision for us. This may turn out to be well intended by all means - but - we effectively lose control of what could have been our informed choice. (Imagine allowing an employer to decide the course of our career for the next five years!)
How do we overcome this?
Before finding the answer, let’s look at a theory from behavioural economics called the “bounded rationality”. The theory is put forward by Herbert A. Simon, one of the most influential social scientists of the 20th century. In his theory, Simon seeks to explain how humans arrive at decisions. He challenges the notion that humans are perfectly rational beings. According to the theory, we humans generally lack the ability and resources to arrive at an optimal solution. Our rationality is limited by the following factors:
the information we have
cognitive limitations of our minds
the finite time that we have in making the decision
As a result, we aim to achieve a satisfactory solution rather than an optimal one. We seek to simplify the choices available to us before applying our limited sense of rationality to achieve the satisfactory outcome.
The best thing about Simon’s theory is that it highlights the flaw in decision making of the entire human species - not just the indecisive people. It is a powerful reminder to you and me that decision making is always subjective - and largely dependent on one’s own contexts. Time, information, memory, and personal experiences will play their part in any decision. What appears to be the rational choice for one person, isn’t necessarily right for another.
Now take another look above at the reasons why we remain indecisive.
The reasons make little sense now that we know how subjective decision making really is.
If humans in general are incapable of arriving at optimal solution, what good it does to think our preferences are not as good as someone else’s? It is perhaps time that we stop thinking too hard about making a decision. Understandably, we require help in making important decisions - where we may consult and seek advice. But shouldn’t we take control of the steering wheels of our own lives? Once we are comfortable with making our own decisions, it is only a matter of time until we learn from our mistakes and make better decisions next time.
Thank you for reading! If you liked this post, share it with your network. I would love to hear your thoughts on this - you can give me your feedback by replying to this mail. Signing off until we meet next week!